I've always wanted one of those loving romance lifes
Like the ones i read about in my manga's.
Realize i found him,Fight for him,and live happily ever after.
Love is a wonderful feeling
and i wanna experience it over and over again.
I am in love
But sadly with someone who doesn't love me back
He once did
But because i was stupid it changed.
I would do anything to win him over again...

Don't ever forget that..


Im sorry for the hearts i've broken.
I don't regret it tho.
It helped them grow
and get stronger.
I only wish them the best ♥


Lifes to short to take it for granted!
I will never have another regret
and i'll always look to the future with a smile on my face.
I will never abandon my friends and family again!
When you look back they will be the only ones there for you.


I will always take photos!
Remember the great times i have had
Reminders of great times soon to come.


I will live life to to the fullest.
Laugh my ass off.
Do crazy things.
and live as if it were my last day.


For all the fights in the past.
I realize now they were stupid.
The friends i have lost.
The people i have hurt.
Im sorry, and i hope you can forgive me


I will never judge!
How can i judge someone i don't even know..
and as for judging my friends..
What kind of friend would i be.


I realized this tonight [size=1][05/10/07][/size]
While i laid on my couch
reading a manga
and having a smoke.
It all sorta hit me at once
and i had an urge to just write it down

Current Mood: content

So i figured i should write in this before March ended.

March has been not my best month. But meh i'll survive.
Earlier this month i got arrested for shop liftting 4 plastic Nails from a Zellers. I now have court on the 25 of May.
I'll get off with just community service,and what not. NICE <3 lol

Following after that i had a huge pregnancy scare!
Back just before February ended i had sex while i was drunk and the
guy took the condom off during. i noticed and naturally freaked.
Thru out most of March until about 5 days ago I had been gaining alot of weight just from the stress of thinking i was pregnant.
I got my period tho. So all systems are go! *thumbs up*
No more sex for this chicka. It hurt and was the worst experience of my life. (Some of you may know why ^_^;;;)


I lost my job at McDonalds. Impersonating a manager.
How the fuck do i do that?!
i don't even care to type the rest.
Needless to say i got another job.
Shaw Conference Center bitches!!! YEA!!
Which also reminds me... TASTE OF CHAOS!! April 5th with Sarah!
It will fucking roxorz the boxorz


This month i've been doing alot of drugs.
I've been really into the pill Ectacy.
A wonderful drug that is, the way you move, feel things, and see things are just phenominal.(sp?)For anyone who wants to try it... i leave you with the last most exciting thing of March.

Last night i had a life changing experience.
I went to a house party, for the Candii and Alchy kids out there.
Lots of booze lots of E.
I took 8 pills and drank half a bottle of Captain Morgans.
How i survived...who the fuck knows. @_@

I began dancing and ventured into the living room, i glanced down at the couch. There was a girl no more then 14 lying there.
Her face was whitish grey color.
I tapped her and asked her if she was ok.
i got no response, i checked to see if she was breathing and she wasn't.

At that moment i knew i was the only one sober enough
to help this girl out. I started performing CPR on her, i don't even know CPR!! Just what i seen on TV.
She started breathing again! I was so relieved. *phew*
The girl sat up and just brushed her passing out off.
Stood and grabbed another bottle of liqour!
I could do nothing but yell at her!
"What the fuck do you think your doing?!"
"are you fucking stupid?!"
As soon as i spoke those words everything anyone had ever told me about
how i shouldn't being drugs just hit me.
"you almost died back there"
She just turned to me like nothing and said
"i don't care"

I stormed out of the house and reached in my pocket.
Pulled out my 3 last pills and couldn't do anything but stare at them.
I realized i could of been that girl on the couch, and what if no one noticed... i would be dead right now.
At that moment i swore off drugs for good, at least chemicals.
the occasional joint..maybe not...im still smoking tho.
I just got to much on my mind to focus on quitting.
Sold the pills and just walked around all night.


Im here now and planning on seeing Michaela tomorow.
Maybe she'll come to Derk's with me to get my Uniform.
Joys of looking like a god damn penguin. *rolls eyes*
Now im off to bed, so i'll be able to get up at 8.
I should pass out quick, i havn't slept the last 2 days.

...Cat Scratch
Rattle Snake...
I'll miss you guys....
R.I.P

Current Location: Wrapped in a blanket
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Hinder - Lips of an angel

Last night was
"yay Ashley's finally getting better" night.
So i got to eat ice cream ^_^ <3
After watching Aladdin with Brandon.
We started playing Tribond.
Al went on a fishing trip for the day so we were all pretty content.
My mom pwned us... both times... -_- damn lol
At about 9:00pm Mcdonalds called and asked if i would go into work for Sunday (today)
And me being an idiot..said yes.....
Im still sick so why would you call me!!
Sunday was supposed to be my day off to! but meh.. need my munnies.

I woke up this morning
watched Pokemon 2000.
and started watching this movie called Enough.
and randomly fighting to get on the computer with Al.
I start work at 4, and im coughing up a storm.
So warning to everyone!!
Don't go to Mcdonalds!
you'll get sick.
/slack day! hacha! <3

Later days!

Peace

Current Location: Computer chair
Current Mood: sore
Current Music: Viridian City - Pokemon

did you know that hospitals have computers in them??? that you can use?!
i was so shocked.well i still am!!!and they got no blocks on them or anything. i was like. SHWEET. But yes.. i do write to you from a hospital. i got put in here yesterday for fever, not eating, and passing out randomly.
I guess i have some really fucked up virus thats going around.joy to the world.
and pray to god you don't get it!!!!

you will diiiiiie lol

anyways yes. i got until monday off shaweet! and i get to watch naruto tonight to!!!! if i don't fall asleep before that. hopefully not.

So anyways..

Peace <3

Current Location: Main Level of the Hospital
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: people talking.

K reasons i could be sick:
1) hangin out with sick people
2) i walked around town all last night.

My mom told me if i wasn't home by midnight she would lock me out.
I don't get off till midnight tho. so i thought she wasn't serious. i got home last night and the door was locked >:\
I walked all the way to Clareview to use a payphone.
Then ran all the way over to the west end on a train. So i could have aplace to stay. I have this horrible cough. one minute im hot the next im freezing... it's horrible.
but my moms kickin herself in the ass for it now. Seein how sick i am. I almost had to get administrated to the hospital this afternoon.
When i walked in the house i collapsed and was out for 15 min i guess...
not cool.
so i guess im really fucking sick... heh <3


Peace out. *cough*
p.s i hate it when my nose runs... it's like a fucking waterfall O_O

Current Location: Sick Clothes
Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Panic at the Disco

no posts mean i've been partying!!!!!!!!.
ALL FUCKING WEEKEND!!!!!!!!
going to work trippin out of your mind is not good
going the next day drunk is not good.
wtf
i slept till like 3 today,

absolutly nothing has happened the last few days.

I called Michaela yesterday then went online with her.
I gots my new batteries *squee*
and i had much fun with it.
So Miss Neko this is for you.
I work Today,Tomorow, Friday,Saturday and Sunday </333 they ignored me. but maybe next week.. sorry.... anyways time to go and shower Enjoy the shower life with all that hot water beading down my body as Sasuke..... K nvm to many fanfic..to many fantasies... oh god <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 lol Peace

Current Location: Sasuke's Arms... i wish
Current Mood: horny
Current Music: Naruto - 5th Opening.

So my day off was a complete success!!!
Did nothing all day but sit on the computer, eat cereal, and sleep.
YAY!!
Me and Brandon kept "waking" Al up last night. Like he was sleeping so now theres a new rule that is.
" No video games , tv, or computer after 11"
But what the fuck?! i don't get off till 11:30 so ya...that shits sorta toast
Told Brandon the same thing this morning and he just rolled over and said
" ya...right hahaha"
I work today and i need to find out my schedule for the rest of the week.
Hopefully i have a lot of work. Money money money ^_^

anyways it's time i shower
*smells self*
Ya..it's time lol

Peace <3

Current Location: Computer Chair
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: Call me when your sober - Evanescence.

Shitzors!!!!
well i missed Naruto
i met up with Tam's and Paris at about 12:30 at clareview.
We chilled, did some shit.
Then went back to jessie's house.
We partied all night long.
i'll just skip the details.
i didn't sleep till about 8am.
Woke up at 10.
Hung out with Kim, Paris and her baby Faith.
After playing with baby faith.
Jessie's mom gave me a ride home.
I thank her for her hospitality.
I at at home and watched T.V, played on teh puter.
then bounced for a shower.
i had to work at 4.
Im going to Taste of Chaos.
I don't care how!!! im going to do it.
Hopefully sarah can hook me up with some tickets.
Work was cool.
Me and sarah had a few laughs at me being an idiot.
besides i had to keep running to SOD. -_-.... why can't i just stay there instead of coming out and running there evertime an order comes.
I managed to stay at work with Lisa till about 12:30.
Lisa has to be the coolest manager ever! SHAWEET
I didn't think McD's would be so cool.
so not getting home till about 15min ago.
im realy awake.
All the pop and Mcnuggets and icecream we ate.
Me and Lisa were pisssed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We both started at 4 and didn't get a break till about 9:30.
Both bitchy and in need of a smoke.
the head manager finally left.
and we ditched so quick to the back for a smoke.
Followed by everyone else.
cause were cool like that.
and because we had smokes -_-;;; lol
I have today off im so happy.
but back to work on Monday!!!
gotta keep a paycheck rolling in.
Im aiming to get a Laptop and Scanner. Hopefully Photoshop to.!!
i really wanna start some drawings again.
I've been getting wicked ideas
Especially since i started going on gaia alot lately.
I beleive i can scoop some extra gold for commissions.
Im getting better.
im so proud of myself.
But ya ima bounce and help Brandon with kingdom hearts.


Peace <3

Current Location: In the comfy ducky jammies.
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Last Sunrise- Aiden.

Well thats a load of shit.
i can't watch Naruto or anything tonight due to the fact
that i have to work till 11:30.
I could watch it at 3am.
but i want my sleeeeeep *loud wail*

Anyways.
Work was pretty good yesterday. I met " mom and dad"
the regulars at the store. It's pretty cool.
I called Brandon to meet me at Safeway when i got off work.
i had a toy and pop for him.

I came home and played some Kingdom Hearts with Brandon.
and retreated to downstairs where i sat for 3 hours listening to music.
Before finally passing out.


Todays already off to a fantastic start *rollseyes*
Didn't get up till noon. and i start work at 4!!!
I only get Sunday off, maybe monday im not sure.
But i really hope i get to keep this
4-11:30 shift.
it's awesome.
Im learning really quick and just a few more things to learn and i'll be like.... the Mc...slut? UPGRADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

I need some form of a life.
Hopefully i'll be able to chill with Paris and Tam tonight after work. Atleast for a few hours.
Then i'll go home and watch Naruto... oh god...will that be fascinating
Can't wait now.

Current Location: In the housecoat!
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Girl in a Cage - Horrorpops